Le Film: 2003

Russian Ark
2002, D: A. Sokurov, S: S. Dontsov
Dreamlike, profound, mesmerizing, and terribly, terribly beautiful.  A single-
shot, single-take 90-minute film touring the inside of the Hermitage museum in
St. Petersburg.  It's both factual and fictional (and hard to describe).  
Ground-breaking from both a technical and artistic perspective.  Amazing. 
I love this film.

Mon Paradis: Der Winterpalast
2003, D: Elfi Mikesch
Documentary follows around people who live in St. Petersburg and work in the 
Hermitage.  Moderately non-linear.  Doesn't say much.  But it's interesting.
(Found on the Russian Ark DVD as an extra/featurette.)

Last Order
2001, D: F. Schapisi, S: M. Caine, B. Hoskins
A simple and quaint little English picture about family and the passing of time.
Other people have done it better, but still ... a genuine pleasure to watch old
masters of the cinema work their magic.

Demonlover
2003, D: O. Assayas, S: C. Nielsen, C. Sevigny, C. Berling
Corkscrew plot, a splash of violence, and a meaningless plot.  I think it's 
about corporate espionage, the pornographic underworld, and the tendency of 
human nature to steer toward ambition, corruption, and vice.  At first 
interesting, but since it goes no where and expresses nothing, I've forgotten 
it already.

Roger Dodger
2002, D: D. Kidd, S: C. Scott, J. Eisenberg, I. Rossellini, E. Berkley
Funny and charming commentary on sexual politics.  A womanizing older man (30's)
tutors his newphew (16) how to seduce women.  Campbell Scott and Jesse Eisenberg
are great.

Standing in the Shadows of Motown
2002, D: P. Justman, S: The Funk Brothers
Docu-flick about Funk Brothers (the geniuses behind most of the number one 
Motown hits in the 50's and 60's).  Funny, but only of real interest to hard-
core jazz/r&b record nerds.

Cold Mountain
2003, D: A. Minghella, S: J. Law, N. Kidman
Deplorably pointless, criminally miscast, and painfully long.

Donnie Darko
2001, D: R. Kelly, S: J. Gyllenhaal, J. Malone, M. Gyllenhaal
One of the oddest films I've seen.  Dark, twisted, funny, yet immensely sad.
It almost achieves that rare Tim Burton air of majesty.  Despite its few 
shortcomings, I thoroughly enjoyed this film.  It's well crafted and full of 
surprises.

Bank Dick
1940, D: E. Cline, S: W.C. Griffith, Shemp
W. C. as Egbert Sousé is genius.  This movie earned explosive bursts of laughter
from yours truly.  A wonderful comedic achievement and timeless piece of art.

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
2000, D: Kawajiri
Unfortunately, I saw the English dubbed version.  So I'll base my little encap-
sulation here on a film void of poor voice-over:  A great sequel, worthy of the
original.  Enough fantasy lore, action, and blood to quench the thirst of any 
anime-lovin' geek.

Bend It Like Beckham
2002, D: G. Chadha, S: K. Knightley, P. Nagra
Great fare for 13 year old girls.  A boring chuckle for the rest of us.

Say It Ain't So
2001, D: , S: C. Kline, H. Graham
Tries hard to be crude and funny.  Only manages to be crude.  Muy painful.

Possession
1981, D: Andrzej Zulawski, S: S. Neill, I. Adjani
Grating and sureal, but somehow brilliant sci-fi/horror/black comedy about a 
woman who ... um ... leaves her husband for a grotesque mutant ... or something
to that effect.  Lots of yelling.  Lots of gore.  An emotionally driven piece
with no clearly defined message or performance.  Non-linear.  A mindful and 
grotesque expression.  But, so powerful is its expression, it becomes
beautiful.  Very Cronenberg/Miike/Lynchesque.

Something's Gotta Give
2003, D: N. Meyers, S: J. Nicholson, D. Keaton
Written by an idiotic 50-something woman for idiotic 50-something women.  
Painful to sit through.  I was praying for either (A) the film to end or (B) the
ceiling of the theatre to cave in and crush me to death.  I hate this film. 
It's nothing but poorly handled cliches, poor direction (i.e. "Please, god, cut 
away from Diane Keaton giggling at some unidentified joke for the umpteenth 
time"), and vapid sentimentality.  I found the entire work intellectually 
void and unfunny.

It Happened One Night
1934, D: F. Capra, S: C. Gable, C. Colbert
Hilarious and hartwarming.  A timeless comedy classic.  Gable and Colbert are
brilliant and charming.

Ju Dou
1990, D: F. Yang, Y. Zhang, S: G. Li, L. Baotian, L. Wei
Beautiful cinematography, fable-like story, sound direction.  A good film of
forbidden love and fatalistic consequences.  Small cast and setting (was this a 
play?).

The Time Machine
2002, D: S. Wells, S: G. Pierce
Egad.  Terrible screenplay that never should have been filmed.

L.I.E.
2001, D: M. Cuesta, S: B. Cox
One tumultuous coming-of-age story about a young boy caught inbetween his 
delinquent friends, lying and neglecting father, an older homosexual man, and
the death of his mother.  The best films, in my opinion, highlight not the
black and white or night and day in lives, but the seedy gray areas ... our
twilight.  Because in those gray areas lies the truth about ourselves: ugly,
but shrouded in dusk.  L.I.E. paints the twilight with a broad brush and deft
strokes.  It left me with many questions.  And I'm sure it will stay with me
for some time.  This is a damn fine film.  (Where did Cuesta find Paul Dano
and Billy Kay??  They can actually act!)

8 1/2
1963, D: Fellini, S: M. Mastroianni, A. Aimée, B. Steele
I just finished watching this for the 2nd time.  It's genius.  When I watch it,
I feel like I'm watching a moving painting.  And not just any painting, but a
mindblowing work from a master (the kind I ran into at the Chicago Institute of
Art).  Fascinating and engrossing.

Running On Empty
1988, D: S. Lumet, S: R. Phoenix, J. Hirsch
Quaint little drama showcasing River Phoenix's raw talent.  A well written and 
perfomed piece.

Resident Evil
2002, D: P. Anderson, S: M. Jovovich, M. Rodriguez
Milla is gorgeous and this sci-fi thriller feels like a video game from start 
to finish.  Well directed work.  Some of the acting is stiff, but overall the
best video game-to-film conversion I've seen yet (save Final Fantasy).

Vanilla Sky
2001, D: C. Crowe, S: T. Cruise, P. Cruz, C. Diaz, J. Lee, K. Russell, N. Taylor
Damnit, that Kurt Russell's got some range.  He almost made me cry when watching
Soldier.  (I'm an idiot.)  VS is a fascinating film.  And, although it's come 
under some heavy scrutiny, I think it's a fine film.  It's greatest asset is
not in its writing, but its direction.  The cast is pretty remarkable too.  
What shortcomings the screenplay is selling, I'm buying because the rest of the
production quality is so mesmerizing.  (No one knows how to use music like Crowe
... except maybe Thomas Anderson.)

Sweet Home Alabama
2002, D: A. Tennant, S: R. Witherspoon, J. Lucas, P. Dempsey, C. Bergen
Little Witherspoon actually had me convinced that she was a trailer-trash-
talkin' Southern blonde bombshell bitch.  I had the privilege of meeting 
several of these types during my tenure in North Carolina.  This film was
cute.

Meet Joe Black
1998, D: M. Brest, S: A. Hopkins, C. Forlani, B. Pitt
Magnificent performances, sound direction, terribly flawed writing.  It wasn't
until afterwards, when I gave this picture a chance to sink in that I realized
how poorly it was written.  Death, embodying Brad Pitt's character, can continue
his supernatural service as death while vacationing in a human vessel, speak to 
Anthony Hopkins telepathically, speak to a hospital patient in a Jamaican
tongue, but has no idea what peanut butter is.  The film is mesmerizing.  And,
I enjoyed the spell immensely.  But, when I came to my senses I felt cheated.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
2003, D: J. de Bont, S: A. Jolie
I was wrong.  Lara Croft isn't a female Indiana Jones.  She's a female James
Bond.  And once you understand that you're watching a James Bond picture with
a female protagonist, then you can appreciate one of these films simply for
what it is.  Mindless fun.

Rosemary's Baby
1968, D: R. Polanski, S: M. Farrow
Disturbing film.  Outlandish, shocking, well photographed.  A very well crafted 
horror film.  Abrupt, unnatural placement of the end seems to drag the picture
down.  Overrated. 

Boyz N the Hood
1991, D: J. Singleton, S: C. Gooding, L. Fishburne, I. Cube
Especially remarkable in that it's the first true film of its kind.  Actually,
remarkable in every way.  A fine film.

Tears of the Sun
2003, D: A. Fuqua, S: B. Willis, M. Bellucci
Cliched, over-the-top, but beautiful to look at.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
2001, D: S. West, S: A. Jolie, J. Voight
Silly little popcorn action flick.  I like the idea of a female Indiana Jones, 
but Simon West is no Spielberg.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action
2003, D: J. Dante, S: B. Fraser, S. Martin, J. Elfman
Abysmal piece of unfunny garbage.  Not quite as painful as Space Jam,
but close.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers
1956, D: D. Siegel, S: K. McCarthy, D. Wynter, S. Peckinpah
A timeless sci-fi/suspense/horror classic.  Beautifully shot, well performed,
well written, and well directed.  A wonderful, wonderful film.  Ms. Wynter is
dazzling.

Gangs of New York
2002, D: M. Scorsese, S: D. Day-Lewis, L. DiCaprio, C. Diaz, J. Broadbent
Well performed, goofy looking, cartoonish, and LONG (too long).  I like where 
the film went and what it was saying more than how it said it.  Daniel Day-Lewis
is unstoppable.  He turned a greasy looking sadistic homocidal maniac of a
character into a very likable guy.  How, I don't know.  But he did.

25th Hour
2002, D: S. Lee, S: E. Norton, B. Pepper, P. Hoffman, B. Cox, A. Paquin
I liked Barry Pepper here.  He surprised me.  This film had one hell of a cast 
(Spike knows how to pick his talent).  Some friends (namely ) didn't seem 
to appreciate this film as much as me.  But then again, unlike others (namely 
), I didn't find it quite that engrossing either.  Overall, I think 25th
is a fine, buy flawed, film about a person coming to the end of themself.  One
of the best to come out of 2002 (which isn't saying much).  (Rosario Dawson 
looked simply edible in the Catholic school girl outfit.  I mean ... DAMN.)

Plan 9 From Outer Space
1959, D: E. Wood Jr., S: B. Lugosi
The working title for this film was: "Grave Robbers from Outer Space;"  a more 
appropriate title IMHO.  A classic camp of the silver screen.  Seeing Plan 9
makes Ed Wood (1994, Tim Burton) even funnier.  With the right frame of mind,
a genuine pleasure to watch and a wonderful film.

Johnny English
2003, D: P. Howitt, S: R. Atkinson, J. Malkovich, N. Imbruglia
A few funny moments.  Atkinson's physical comedy won the biggest laughs from me.
But, Atkinson could learn a thing or two from Chaplin, namely: Just because 
your main character is idiotic, doesn't necessarily mean your screenplay needs 
to be.  I prefer not to feel embarrassed by the material I'm laughing at.  Call
me a snob, but I've simply outgrown the potty humor.  (Imbruglia is muy sexy.)

Seabiscuit
2003, D: G. Ross, S: J. Bridges, C. Cooper, T. Maguire
This film is not about Seabiscuit, the horse.  It's about heart.  It's about
fighting spirit, the will to win, and the drive of the American people during
the depression of the 20's.  For all it's lofty aim, I think it achieved most of
its goals.  And I never thought at any point the film felt pretentious or silly.
Their only major fault may have been in their attempt to cram too much story 
into the running time.  Overall a pretty good film.  (I liked Ross' use of 
silence.)

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
2003, D: P. Weir, S: R. Crowe, P. Bettany
What a bland piece of crap.  The beginning and end were exciting, however
the middle sagged and dragged and nearly put me to sleep.  Oh, and the scene
where one of the marines accidentally shot the doctor, was incredibly stupid.
I laughed outloud.  It felt like a Conan O'Brien scit or a Rowan Atkinson antic.

Antwone Fisher
2002, D: D. Washington, S: D. Luke, D. Washington
A moving and sincere little picture.  Well directed IMHO.  One of the best to 
come out of 2002 (that sordid year).  Very good.

Scanners
1980, D: D. Cronenberg, S: J. O'Neill, S. Lack, P. McGoohan
Yes, the heads of people do in fact explode, bleed, etc. in this film.  It 
doesn't have much to offer in the way of character development or story.  Like a
lot of Cronenberg's work, it's a freak show--full of gore and science fiction 
impossibilities brought to life through DC's vivid and twisted imagination.  
It's the excitement generated by peering through the opaque window into his heart 
of darkness which keeps one such as myself interested in seeing his films.  A 
sick curiosity.  Needless to say, my curiosity has been more than satisfied.

Tess of the D'Ubervilles
1998, D: I. Sharp, S: J. Waddell, J. Flemyng, O. Milburn
Interesting ... it turns out this 3-part, 3-hour special produced for A&E, 
is actually a remake of some earlier films.  There was a 1913 version directed 
by J. Searle Dawley and a 1924 version directed by Marshall Neilan.  All three 
films are based on the Thomas Hardy novel by the same title.  This modern 
version is pretty enchanting.  Considering it was made for TV and the cast is a
relatively unknown bunch, it holds up remarkably well.  Justine Waddell carries
the film and delivers a wonderful performance which requires a great deal of 
range.  A fine film.

The Hire
2001 - 2002, D: (various), S: Clive Owen
The Hire is a series of short films produced by BMW Films and available
for free download from www.BMWFilms.com.  Each film is about 6 or 7 minutes 
long--which doesn't sound like much, but the directors make the most of it.  
Each film utilizes a different director and supporting cast.  The crew and cast
list includes such greats as: Frankenheimer, Ridley and Tony Scott, Guy Richie,
Wong Kar-Wai, John Woo, Forest Whitaker, James Brown, Don Cheadle, Ray Liotta,
Madonna, and Gary Oldman.  Each of the films is unique and varies in quality.  
Each film deserves its own review ... but I'm lazy.  So, I'll generalize: All 
the films are quite good.  A few are great (notably WKW's Follow, and Tony 
Scott's Beat The Devil).  Definitely worth checking out.

Mermaids
1990, D: R. Benjamin, S: W. Ryder, Cher, B. Hoskins, C. Ricci
Cute.  (Bob Hoskins is so underrated in the U.S. it's criminal.)

The Fly
1986, D: D. Cronenberg, S: J. Goldblum, G. Davis
A Cronenberg classic.  An all-around fantastic film.  Goldblum is superb in a
well written role and a well crafted, expertly directed work.  Creepy.

The Fly II
1989, D: C. Wallas, S: E. Stoltz, D. Zuniga
Gore galore.  A particularly entertaining sequel.  Not quite as well crafted
as Cronenberg's 1986 remake, but somehow satisfying.

The Curse of Jade Scorpion
2001, D: W. Allen, S: W. Allen, H. Hunt, D. Aykroyd
More humorous in its pretenses than its actualities.  Funny script, but weak 
performances and direction.  Mediocre Woody.

The Matrix: Revolutions
2003, D: Wachowski Broth., S: H. Weaving, K. Reeves, L. Fishburne, C. Moss
Better than Reloaded, but still a popcorn movie.  The first is more than
a popcorn movie.  The original Matrix film is a good film in ... it uses
style to convey its substance.  Whereas, both sequels have replaced substance
with style, action, and effects.

Old School
2003, D: T. Phillips, S: L. Wilson, W. Ferrell, V. Vaughn, J. Piven, J. Lewis
Amusing as shit.  Will Ferrell and mad-house crazy antics breath one last 
breathe of life into the musty old college frat house comedy concept.  Crazy
stupid fun.

Flesh For Frankenstein
1974, D: A. Margheriti, P. Morrissey, S: U. Kier
Longer and weaker than Blood for Dracula.  Weaker in that it takes 
itself almost serious.  Too much effort was placed in the making of it.
Whereas Blood is a truly half-ass full-tilt campy gore and smut fest.
Still ... Flesh, being very similar, is quite amusing.

Ba wang bie ji (Farewell My Concubine)
1993, D: K. Chen, S: L. Cheung, L. Gong, F. Zhang
The incomparable Li Gong (Shanghai Triad, The Emperor and the Assassin) and 
Leslie Cheung (Happy Together) together with Fengyi Zhang and a strong 
supporting cast deliver powerful performances.  Beautifully shot and well 
directed.  A fine film of torn love and tragic circumstance.  It is about an 
opera singer/actor (played by Leslie Cheung) who is so obsessed with the operas 
he performs in, and opera itself, he lives the dramatic roles in his own life.  
To him, life is opera and opera is life.  Ironically Mr. Cheung may have 
experienced this in real life--having committed suicide in a dramatic fashion
this year (2003) by jumping off a rather tall building.  Another case of life
imitating art.

Drowning Mona
2000, D: N. Gomez, S: C. Affleck, W. Fichtner, D. DeVito, B. Midler, J. Curtis
Funny.  Not terribly so, but whacky enough to keep me rather enthralled in this
rogue little film.  Sure the plot is predictable, but the performances and some
of the writing are sharp and entertaining.  Casey Affleck and Jamie Lee Curtis 
are stand-outs in a pretty reputable and sizable cast.  Will Ferrell makes a 
nice cameo as "Cubby the Funeral Director."  It's basically what Best In Show
could have been if they actually attempted to write jokes into the screenplay.

Poltergeist
1982, D: T. Hooper, S: J. Williams, C. Nelson, D. Dunne, H. O'Rourke, O. Robins
Funfunfun!  I really enjoyed this Spielberg production.  I was told it is a 
must-see classic, and I can see why.  It's easily one of the greatest popcorn 
movies of all time--acknowledged by AFI's inclusion of the film in their "100
Years 100 Thrills" list (it ranked # 84).  (Odd fact: There's a "Poltergeist
Curse."  Two of the young stars of the Poltergeist movie died at a young age.  
Dominique Dunne, who played the eldest daughter of the Freeling family in the 
film, was strangled to death by her boyfriend at the age of 23.  Heather 
O'Rourke, who played the youngest daughter in the Freeling family in all three 
Poltergeist films, died suddenly at the age of 13 from "cardiopulmonary arrest" 
which resulted from an "intestinal blockage" midst shooting of Poltergeist III.
And an older co-star, Julian Beck, age 60 died of stomach cancer in the midst of
shooting Poltergeist II. ... Freaky, eh?)

Phenomena
1985, D: D. Argento, S: J. Connelly
Insects, maggots, mutant children, serial killers with long knives, and creepy
80's music add up to one weird picture.  Watching Jennifer Connelly and Donald
Pleasence (the old master of the theatre and the promising young pupil) work 
with one another was a real treat.  Disturbing, yet funny horror flick.  A great
Halloween-time picture.  (US Title: "Creepers")

Dracula
1931, D: T. Browning, S: B. Lugosi, H. Chandler, D. Frye, E. Van Sloan
The quintessential Dracula film.  Wonderful, timeless performances.  Bad
special effects add levity to an otherwise, morbid mood.  With the right frame
of mind, tremendous fun to watch.

Carrie
1976, D: B. De Palma, S: S. Spacek, A. Irving, W. Katt, B. Buckley
A great horror film in true Stephen King fashion.  Exaggerated photography,
gore, and performances give this film a near-camp feel, but De Palma manages to
make it all work.  He seems to truly capture King's mastery of the strange and
exaggerated.  A wonderful and creepy film to watch.

His Girl Friday
1940, D: H. Hawks, S: C. Grant, R. Russell
A wonderful, hilarious romp of a film.  It's amazing what a top-notch cast in
top form with a smart script can produce.

Night of the Living Dead
1968, D: G. Romero, S: D. Jones, J. O'Dea, K. Hardman, K. Wayne, J. Ridley
A real classic with a timeless ending.  The ending reminds me of a line in 
Bride of Frankenstein (a brilliant film), "Love dead ... hate living."  
It seems to take a popularly pessimistic view among horror films that human 
nature is not inherently pure, but corrupt, evil, and tending towards vice.  
I concur.

The Ring
2002, D: G. Verbinski, S: N. Watts, M. Henderson, D. Dorfman
Based on Ringu (1998, Japan) which in turn was based on a novel by 
Kôji Suzuki.  This is pure horror.  There are no underlying messages or themes.
This film has nothing to offer but fright.  It's one goal is to scare the shit
out of you.  In that goal, it almost succeeds.  There are one or two scenes 
which made me jump and/or squirm, but for the most part the film is just 
mindless junk with a cast made for mindless junk.

Mystic River
2003, D: C. Eastwood, S: S. Penn, T. Robbins, K. Bacon, M. Harden, L. Fishbourne
Just shy of brilliance because it ran three minutes too long.  Convincing, 
gritty, and powerful performances from a stellar cast anchors this one down 
pretty damn hard.  Ms. Harden was particularly good.  Also: the use of Boston for
on-location shooting proved a wonderful device.  The whole Bostonian feel made 
me recall Sleepers ... another Kevin Bacon movie ... involving young boys being 
molested ... hey, wait a minute ...

The Emperor and the Assassin
1999, D: C. Kaige, S: G. Li, Z. Fengyi, L. Xuejian
Masterfully directed, convincingly acted, and beautifully photographed.  Weak in 
story construction and character development, but otherwise, a fine film.  
Sweeping and grand.  Ms. Li gives a wonderful performance.

Dead or Alive: Hanzaisha
1999, D:  T. Miike, S: S. Aikawa, R. Takeuchi
Just as Sonic Youth carve melodies out of noise, Takashi carves humor or 
meaning out of madness.  In this instance, he carves out humor.  Despite all its
inconsistencies and failings, the film redeems itself with cartoon violence of
ludicrous proportions.

Stardust Memories
1980, D: W. Allen, S: W. Allen, beautiful European women
Self-absorbed, heady, nonsensical, but brilliant.  Classic Woody.

Intolerable Cruelty
2003, D: Coen Broth., S: G. Clooney, C. Zeta-Jones, B. Thornton, G. Rush, B. Campbell
Crap.  Almost entirely unfunny.  It's as if people have forgotten what is truly
funny.  The only real value I found in this film was the privilege of watching
Ms. Zeta-Jones sashay.  That in itself was almost worth the ticket price.

Battle of Britain
1969, D: G. Hamilton, S: L. Olivier, R. Shaw, M. Caine
Poorly directed, poorly scripted, but well acted film.  It's historical value,
grand scale, and strong performances kept it from being an atrocity.  The 
special effects are some of the worst I've ever seen.  My old friend Nick 
Tylenda could create better effects with a bottle rocket and his VHS camcorder.

Gokudô kyôfu dai-gekijô: Guzo
2003, D: Takashi Miike, S: Hideki Sone, S. Aikawa, Kimika Yoshino, R. Ishibashi
An eerie and unsettling mindfuck from the Master of Filth and Madness.  As usual 
I'm left with more questions than answers.  For example, was Miike trying to 
drive home a cry of confused sexuality?  Is it a homosexual's desire to feminize 
his love of another man?  What's with all the breast milk?  Why does the one guy 
have half a face?  Is he trying to say Americans are vapid?  If so, that's the
only answer I have: he's right.  (Very Lynch/Cronenberg-like.)

Kill Bill: Volume 1
2003, D: QT, S: U. Thurman, L. Lui
It's camp, people.  Stylized, ultra-violent camp.  Now, if you don't understand
camp, or don't appreciate gore, then this one isn't for you.  However, if the
reverse is true, then you have found your mamma's teet.  You want blood?  QT's
got all the blood you can handle.  (And then some.)  You want bad kung fu?
QT's got that lined up for you too.  Chicks with swords?  Yup.  Awesome music?
Sure.  It ain't Pulp Fiction, but it's the best camp I've ever seen.  Warhol 
would weep with joy.

School of Rock
2003, D: R. Linklater, S: J. Black, J. Cusack, M. White
Jack's manic energy and some decent humor in the writing makes this picture a
fun little flick.  Great for kids.

Good Boy!
2003, D: J. Hoffman, S: L. Aiken, M. Shannon, M. Broderick
All parents who subject their children to this film should be cited for child 
abuse, sodomized with a hot poker, and left in jail to rot.  This film is 
incredibly bad.  (Molly, what the hell are you doing?!  I sure hope the paycheck
was good because this is one huge flaming turd you've landed yourself in!  Stick
with David Wain & Co.)

American Splendor
2003, D: S. Berman & R. Pulcini, S: P. Giamotti, H. Davis, J. Urbaniak, H. Pekar
Interesting little hybrid documentary/fictional bio flick.  Paul Giamotti is 
good as usual, Hope gives a strong performance, and Urbaniak is a riot as Crumb.
It was said this film is disjointed and "has no arch."  I've been thinking 
about that.  I am in the thinking this film is in no need of such an ordinary 
writing structure.  It is a portrayal of "real life."  And "real life" is a 
hackneyed, disjointed mess, just as Harvey Pekar's life is represented in his 
comics.  It was also argued the film's hero, Harvey Pekar, was very contradic-
tory, both in his statements and his life.  This is true, but I do not think it
detracts from the film.  I believe it adds character to this character study.  
And, I believe this flick deserves a good defense.

Lost In Translation
2003, D: Sofia Coppola, S: Bill Murray, Scarlett Johansson
Sofia Coppola's misinterpretation of neo-Japanese cinema.  Her handling of the
direction drifted from spontaneous to haphazard.  Instead of feeling like I 
had watched a film which aimed to leave an emotional imprint or convey a
message, I felt more like I had watched a sophmoric attempt at art; folly.  
I think I managed to enjoy the film because I enjoy watching Bill Murray (and 
I enjoy staring at Scarlett Johansson's ass).  I think the film was not 
necessarily anchored by Murray's acting though, as it was so much by his person
--the real Bill Murray.  I think fondly of the film now, but I think of it as an
interesting failure.

The Good Thief
2002, D: N. Jordan, S: N. Nolte, N. Kukhianidze, T. Karyo
I have not seen the original, so I can't compare.  I enjoyed this mediocre
film for the same reason I enjoyed Pretty Dirty Things:  for the 
performances.  What it lacked in quality direction/writing, it made up for in 
strong performances that gripped me like vice.

Rashômon (In A Grove)
1950, D: A. Kurosawa, S: T. Mifune, M. Kyô, M. Mori, T. Shimura, M. Chiaki
A perfect film.  Genius.  Easily one of the greatest films ever constructed.
Every aspect of the film's design is flawless: the cinematography, acting,
direction, writing, sound, lighting, editing ... everything.  A thought-
provoking, masterfully made observation of human weakness.

Playing Mona Lisa
2000, D: M. Huffman, S: A. Witt
The problem with having seen many great films is that everything else will very
likely pale in comparison to them.  However, the great films are our measuring
stick by which we should gauge all films.  This, for example, is not a great
film.  In fact, by all standards it isn't even a good film.  The lead actress
(Alicia Witt) is exquisite to look at, and a talented pianist, but could not 
muster a strong enough presence to make this either an effective comedy or drama.
It's a cute film, but a shoddy piece of work.  Poor direction, weak perfs, and
a screenplay that thinks it is far wittier than it is.

The Ipcress File
1965, D: S. Furie, S: M. Caine, N. Green, G. Doleman
I am told one British film critic called this picture: "The thinking man's 
James Bond."  Indeed.  A glasses-wearing, cockney accented Michael Caine 
seduces women with Mozart records and fine cuisine in-between shooting
and beating the shit out of bad guys.  This slick little spy thriller was 
Michael Caine's first starring role.  I found it a simple, yet genuine pleasure
to watch.  (SEE ALSO: The Holcroft Covenant.)

Meet The Feebles
1989, D: P. Jackson
Jesus Christ is this film nauseating.  I found no artistic merit in it.  And,
I only laughed out of disgust a few times.

Matchstick Men
2003, D: R. Scott, S: N. Cage, S. Rockwell, A. Lohman
Everyone is over the top (which is redundant for Mr. Rockwell) and the screen-
play has contrivances/plot holes galore.  On top of that, the film rakes its 
protagonist over the coals until he's a shell of the person he once was.  The
film seemingly champions the life of a carpet salesman and husband to a grocery
clerk (ah, yes, the simple, mindless life of conformity is The Good Life).  
Fuck that.

¡Átame! (Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!)
2003, D: P. Almodóvar, S: A. Banderas, V. Abril
Playful little love (?!) story.  Convincing performances make an unbelievable
screenplay believable.  Entertaining, provocative, amusing, and different.

Akarui mirai (Bright Future)
2003, D: K. Kurosawa, S: J. Odagiri, T. Asano, T. Fuji
Interesting film about family, insanity and jellyfish.  The performances really
anchored this one down--especially Tatsuya Fuji.  I think for Kiyoshi Kurosawa
Bright Future's a definite step-up from Pulse (his previous film).  On the
down-side: weak direction.  The film drags and meanders, hookless.  Fuji kept
me interested.  Without him and the jellyfish I would have hit "Eject."  (Gotta
love the jellyfish.)

Dirty Pretty Things
2002, D: S. Frears, S: A. Tautou, C. Ejiofor, B. Wong!
This film should be called "Slimey Bloody Things" or "Desperate Troubled 
Immigrants."  Because that's what it's about.  Nothing was pretty, nothing was 
dirty, and although the film's poster looks kinda sexy, the film is anything
but.  It's about two illegal immigrants trying to get by in the UK.  One wants
to go home to Nigeria, the other wants to raise some dough to move to the Big
Apple in the grand ole US of A.  But, as usual, someone finds a human heart
lodged in a toilet and everything goes to shit (no pun intended).  But, the
film doesn't go to shit.  In fact, the film is actually quite good despite the
numerous contrivances and plot holes.  It's as if the cast and director thought
they were doing Shakespeare.  And the kicker is I was almost convinced myself!
Audrey Tautou and newcomer Chiwetel Ejiofor are absolutely fantastic.  They
both deliver powerful performances worthy of a much better script.  And Mr.
Frears manages to craft a decent film.  He, Tautou, and Ejiofor turn Mexican
water into Perrier (lime flavored).  It's amazing.  (Benedict Wong is god.
Give that man a lead role and a cigarette and he'll fuck some shit up.)

The Toy
1982, D: R. Donner, S: R. Pryor, J. Gleason
Funny movie.  A guilty pleasure of underground film critic .
I can see why.  It's a great vehicle for Pryor's hilarious antics.  But, like 
most 80's comedies it gets needlessly sappy and ridiculous at the end.

Frida
2002, D: J. Taymor, S: S. Hayek, A. Molina, A. Judd, G. Rush
Speaking of Julie Taymor ... what happened with this picture?  Titus was
brilliant, so I was expecting more brilliance.  This film was a terrible dis-
appointment.  What's with the toy skeletons??  Read: not exactly an inspired
moment of artistry in the film.  I think the real problem however lies in the 
screenwriting; lines like "Tits need gravity," are not awe inspiring.  Ms. 
Taymor shouldn't write.  And although Salma Hayek's body is unstoppable, and 
although she can act moderately well, she does not have the screen presence or 
the range needed to carry a film on her own.  And, was that Ashley Judd?!  
Jesus H. Christ, I almost didn't recognize her!  <claps for Ms. Judd>
TAKE A BOW!!  Trying to recognize Ms. Judd and Ms. Connie Nielsen on-screen 
in these small parts is almost impossible!!  It's like playing "Where's Waldo?"
(Pssst!  Hey, Alfred!  Stick with Anderson and put down the bag of Chips Ahoy.)

Henry V
1944, D: L. Olivier, S: L. Olivier
Smashing little film depicting Shakespeare's play.  A great performance by 
Olivier and an interesting presentation of the story.  Highly recommended to 
fans of Shakespeare (along with Julie Taymor's Titus).

Cheun gwong tsa sit (Happy Together)
1997, D: W. Kar-Wai, S: T. Leung Chiu Wai, L. Cheung
Brilliant, poignant tale of dysfunctional love between two men.  Of course,
like all WKW films, it's about a lot of things, and it's terribly beautiful.

Brewster's Millions
1985, D: W. Hill, S: R. Pryor, J. Candy, L. McKee
Pryor while he was still in form.  A good 80's comedy is both goofy as shit,
but quite funny.  This film succeeds within that formula.

Kumonosu jo (Throne of Blood)
1957, D: A. Kurosawa, S: T. Mifune, I. Yamada
The biggest Kurosawa disappointment I have seen.  Save the final five minutes 
of the film, it's basically a slow-moving piece of crap.  A drudgery to sit 
through.  To date, it is the only Kurosawa film I have seen that isn't good.
It's the worst damn interpretation I've seen of Shakespeare.  It's just
terrible.

Kakushi toride no san akunin (The Hidden Fortress)
1958, D: A. Kurosawa, S: M. Chiaki, K. Fujiwara, T. Mifune, M. Uehara
Not a great movie, but still quite good.  Mifune is in decent form, and Chiaki
and Fujiwara are hilarious as the two bumbling greedy peasants.  I didn't find
Ms. Uehara that attractive at first, but her Nick Nolte-like voice, massive eye-
brows, and shapely legs won me over.  If this film has one fault, it's its
length.  It dragged on far too long and sagged in parts like an old hooker. But,
just the same, it beats the hell out of anything that's in American theatres
right now.  (Oh, and Mr. Lucas is a damn thief.)

Dut yeung nin wa (In The Mood For Love)
2000, D: W. Kar-Wai, S: M. Cheung, T. Leung Chiu Wai
Brilliant, hypnotic tale of infidelity and love.  Beautifully shot, and
slow paced.  I didn't find the film slow though.  The mixture of mood
and music kept me entranced.

Tonari no Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro)
1988, D: H. Miyazaki
Warmer than an electric blanket.  As  puts it: "The most humanistic
film I've ever seen."  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.  Proof Miyazaki is a
genius.  A great family movie.  Even the English dubbing was decent.   I can't
believe they didn't have the original Jap audio w/ Eng subtitles on the #*?@%!
DVD though.  I demand more of Miyazaki's films on DVD and I demand them in 
original Jap audio!!  Otherwise, I'm getting the rifle and going up on the 
water tower.  YOU HEAR ME OUT THERE?!

The Thin Man
1934, D: W.S. Van Dyke, S: W. Powell, M. Loy
Myrna Loy was a bombshell.  She may be dead, but I'd make sweet love to her
casket out of principle.  Powell and Loy's characters are two of the most
likable people ever to grace the silver screen.  They're rich, witty drunks!
Who doesn't want to be them?!  Fools--that's who.  My appetite is now whet.
I'll have to see the other five Thin Man pictures.

Gilda
1946, D: C. Vidor, S: G. Ford, R. Hayworth, G. Macready, J. Calleia, S. Geray
Sexy, captivating, brilliant.  My only complaint: poor lip-synching to the 
musical numbers.  For some reason, this problem wasn't nearly as noticeable
during Ms. Hayworth's "clothed striptease."

Pay It Forward
2000, D: M. Leder, S: K. Spacey, H. Hunt, H. Osment, J. Caviezel!
Double-UGH.  The movie wasn't all bad, but the ending, the number of unlikely 
coincidences, and the heavy-handed sentimentality weighed it down until it was 
just a drudgery to sit through.  New fav. actor: James Caviezel.  As Jerry, the 
dirty heroine addict/bum, he was amusing as shit.  Bon Jovi's acting is worse
than his music, no wait ... no ... yes.

Irréversible
2002, D: G. Noé, S: M. Bellucci, V. Cassel, A. Dupontel
First we're paraded through a sexually perverse and violent underworld (e.g. a 
man begging to have a fist shoved up his ass), then we get the pleasure of 
watching a man have his face smashed in with a fire extinguisher.  Lovely.  
And, of course, if that's not enough for you, there's always the 10 minute (?) 
rape scene of Bellucci's character.  Wonderful.  Some people find it thought-
provoking.  Some people think the violence is warranted.  I think it's pure
pomposity--an empty-handed swipe at art.  I think the film's use of violence is 
not justified by it's overall artistic merit, and I believe the writer/director's 
arrogance seeps through the picture, stinking the whole thing up (the cosmos?  
c'mon...).  Gaspar could learn a thing or two from Takashi Miike.  Miike wields 
his filth like a fencing foil, adroitly stabbing his victims (audience members) 
in certain pressure points, carefully bleeding them into enlightenment.  Whereas 
Noé bludgeons us with a sledgehammer, shows us the cosmos, and hopes it says 
something.  The result is a canvas too muddied to interpret, and audience 
members too revolted and unentertained to care.  In it's defense: it's a brave
film, and a great conversation piece.

Alfie
1966, D: L. Gilbert, S: M. Caine, S. Winters
A sly, chatty little picture with an abonimable, but interesting protagonist.
A fine performance from Michael Caine which kept me attentive and amused.

The Hunted
2003, D: W. Friedkin, S: T. Jones, B. Del Toro
What do you get when you combine an Academy Award winning director and two 
Academy Award winning actors with a screenplay seemingly written by a retarded 
13 year old boy?  A flaming piece of crap, a waste of talent, and an insult to 
my intelligence.

The Lost Boys
1987, D: J. Schumacher, S: J. Patric, C. Haim,  C. Feldman, K. Sutherland
Well, it certainly isn't Goonies.  But, then again, Schumacher certainly isn't
Speilberg.  Stupid, dated, unentertaining crap.

Flesh and Bone
1993, D: S. Kloves, S: G. Paltrow, D. Quaid, M. Ryan, J. Caan
Great performances (especially Quaid and Paltrow), direction, and cinematography.
Writing was a tad weak (too many unbelievable coincidences).  Dialogue was 
snappy.  Overall, an interesting little film.  One reviewer commented on how 
effective the middle-western atmosphere felt.  It gave the film an otherworldly
feel.  Better ending: Caan's character succeeds in shooting Ryan's character.  
Then in revenge Quaid's character shoots his father (Caan).  Quaid and Paltrow 
run off somewhere to make murdersome cleptomaniac babies.  Woo-hoo!

Lean On Me
1989, D: J. Avildsen, S: M. Freeman
A dated, feel-good flick that the kids may like if they can get past the 80's
hairdos/clothing/music.  Freeman gives a solid performance as usual.

Sanjuro
1962, D: A. Kurosawa, S: T. Mifune
Humor, beauty, and blood-spray.  What more can one ask for?  A little weak in
the plot, but otherwise a fine example of masterful film making from The Great 
One (Kurosawa).  <bows>

Better Off Dead...
1985, D: S. Holland, S: J. Cusack, C. Armstrong, D. Franklin
80's high school comedy camp classic.  Stupid fun.

The Last Detail
1973, D: H. Ashby, S: J. Nicholson, R. Quaid, O. Young
Brilliant film.  A poignant pleasure.  Great perfs by everyone, great direction.

Majo no takkyubin (Kiki's Delivery Service)
1989, D: H. Miyazaki
The sweetest children's film I have ever seen.  So sweet, you'll need to drink
coffee with it.  I wanted to give the world a big hug.  Warm fuzzies galore.
Also: imaginative, beautiful, charming.  (Jiji's the fucking man.)

Tenkû no shiro Rapyuta (Laputa: Castle in the Sky)
1986, D: H. Miyazaki
What can one say about Miyazaki?  Is he brilliant?  Sure.  Are his films spell-
binding?  Yes.  Rich with character?  Yes.  Imaginitive?  Absolutely.  But, does
Laputa live up to all this?  ... Yes it does.  Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Body Double
1984, D: B. DePalma
This is DePalma's big "FUCK YOU" to the world.  And for that, I <heart> him.  
But, I certainly wouldn't want to sit through this thing again.  (Camp classic.)

The Recruit
2003, D: R. Donaldson, S: Pacino, C. Farrell, B. Moynahan
Why is it mainstream Hollywood feels the need to over dramatize the shit out
of everything?  This film had potential.  The subject matter is fascinating and
the cast is top notch.  But the writing blows.  Toward the end everything just
becomes unnecessary and superficial.  It left a bad taste of fake plastic 
Hollywood in my mouth.  Soulless commercial waste.

Whale Rider
2002, D: N. Caro, S: K. Castle-Hughes, R. Paratene, V. Haughton
A fine little family film with an old-school Disney feel to it.  Heartwarming.
Kind of sappy, at times.  Ms. Castle-Hughes has a remarkable presence.

Strangers on a Train
1951, D: A. Hitchcock, S: R. Walker, F. Granger, R. Roman
To quote Matthew, "Hitch = genius."  One of the finest films of one of the 
finest directors ever.  Twisted, perverse, fun, hilarious, and creepy.  
I loved every minute of it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
2003, D: G. Verbinski, S: J. Depp, K. Knightley, G. Rush, O. Bloom
Fun summer film.  Will require the disengaging of your brain at times, but 
otherwise entertaining.  Depp and Rush are as good as one would expect.  
Knightley is dazzling.  Orlando is pretty.  (I love the opening sequence.)

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
2003, D: J. Mostow, S: A. Schwarzenegger, N. Stahl, C. Danes, K. Loken
Intense action, interesting screenplay, cool ending.  A good summer blockbuster 
in true Schwarzenegger fashion.

Hable con ella (Talk To Her)
2002, D: P. Almodóvar, S: D. Grandinetti, J. Cámara, L. Watling, R. Flores
Not as good as All About My Mother, but interesting.  Hmmmm ... let's see 
... there's Ms. Watling who spends half the film playing a naked coma victim, 
and being washed and rubbed ... which is pleasant.  Then, there's a sequence of 
a supposed black-and-white short, silent film in which a miniature-sized man 
climbs into a woman's vagina ... which is unpleasant.  And, then, of course 
there's the performances of Grandinetti and Cámara, which stirred me to the 
core.  Watching Grandinetti's character stand motionless and weep and watching 
Cámara's character attempt to explain his unrequited and unconditional love, 
shook me up.  What the film lacks in accessibility, it seems to make up for in 
creativity and passion.

Jabberwocky
1977, D: T. Gilliam, S: M. Palin
A handful of funny moments, a bucketful of unsettling moments, and a truckload
of pointless slow moments.  An interesting flick for Gilliam fans, garbage
for everyone else.

Heathers
1989, D: M. Lehmann, S: W. Ryder, C. Slater, S. Doherty
A very amusing failure of a film.  I'm not even sure when, where, or why it 
fails.  I don't even care.  I simply enjoyed watching these two-dimensional
characters annihilate one another.  The performances were empty.  The dialogue 
was crassly kitsch.  But, that didn't seem to matter because throughout the 
picture it felt as though the cast was venting their own childhood angst right 
onto the screen.  The late Ms. Kael said one should "appreciate great trash."  
This, to me, is great trash.

The Rite of Love & Death
1965, D: Y. Mishima & D. Masaki, S: Y. Mishima, Y. Tsuruoka
Powerful, powerful B&W short portrays a samurai's harikari, his wife's sub-
sequent suicide, after one final night of unbridaled passion.  Both beautiful
and then gruesome.

Oh! Dem Watermelons
1965, D: R. Nelson
Proof that drugs were popular in the 60's.  I am told this film is about racism.
I am told it is a humorous jab at the racist; an absurdist cry for racial 
equality.  I disagree.  I think the film is about watermelon.  And I think it's
funny as shit.

Holes
2003, D: A. Davis, S: S. LeBeouf, K. Thomas, J. Voight
Cute fairy tale-like story.  LeBeouf puts on a subtle display of acting skill 
and range which exceeds that of most adult actors.  I look forward to seeing 
more of his work.

X2
2003, D: B. Singer, S: P. Stewart, H. Jackman, I. McKellen, F. Janssen
A very well executed sci-fi/action flick.  It holds true to the depth and 
character of the comic universe created by Stan Lee.  The cast was well chosen 
and does an impeccable job.  And, I found the very end of the film incredibly 
intriguing.  If my comic book geek education serves me correctly, the writers 
for the X-Men movie series have begun the Phoenix Saga.  This is a ballsy move, 
as it will likely take more than one film to cover the saga.  I guess the 
studio has confidence in the long-term profitability of the series.  I think 
they should cryogenically freeze McKellen between X films.  He's old as dirt.

Finding Nemo
2003, D: A. Stanton & L. Unkrich, S: A. Brooks, E. DeGeneres
Cute, but predictable.  DeGeneres was fucking hilarious as Dory.

Phone Booth
2002, D: J. Schumacher, S: C. Farrell, K. Sutherland, F. Whitaker
This movie is only 81 minutes long!  And it's from mainstream Hollywood!  
If I'm going to sit through a film that's fluff (like this), (A.) It 
should be good fluff and (B.) It should be short.  Such is the case with 
this quick-and-dirty little film.  Farrell, Sutherland, Whitaker, and
Schumacher were all par, and the hookers were convincing (I swear they 
were real NYC hookers).  My only complaint: Holmes was wearing clothing.

Matrix Reloaded
2002, D: A/L. Wachowski, S: K. Reeves, C. Moss, L. Fishburne
The first Matrix film had a somewhat subtle touch of artistry to it.  It was 
good fluff.  This high-budget ... thing ... has no subtlety to it.  It looks as
if the producers/directors set out to cram as many CGI scenes in as they could 
just to wow the audience.  Oh, and the plot ... cannibalizes itself.  It's so 
distorted it would give Stephen Hawkings a headache.
Mr. Hawkings: <in a computer generated voice>  "I understand blackholes, 
but that Matrix Reloaded??  Aye!  It makes my brain hurt and my frail body 
tremble!"

Nuit et brouillard (Night and Fog)
1955, D: A. Resnais
I had been warned about the extreme nature of this film's content, but I 
characteristically forgot those warnings.  I plopped the DVD into my DVD player
this afternoon not aware of what I was about to watch.  Ironically, I brought 
with me to the couch to watch the film: one large matza cracker smothered in
Wegman's Three Fruit Jam.  I don't even know why we had matza crackers in the 
house.  We're not Jewish.  And it's not Passover.  The cracker was delicious 
... for a while.  Then, I became very physically sick.  I hate to simply echo 
what everyone else has said about a film, but: This 30-minute poetic tribute to
and documentary of the victims of the Nazi death camps is the single most 
beautiful and disgusting film I have ever seen.  I believe it may be the most 
powerful film ever made, and I am certain it is the most important film ever 
made.  (Warning: Not for the faint of heart.)  <shudders>

La Jetée (The Pier)
1962, D: C. Marker, S: D. Hanich, J. Ledoux
The long series of perfect still black-and-white shots are only enhanced by 
the mumbling of the narrator's voice, which together convey a bizarre, 
twisting tale.  Brilliant, vivid, striking, minimalist short film.  The best 
short I've ever seen and probably will ever see.

Tadpole
2002, D: G. Winick, S: B. Neuwirth, S. Weaver, J. Ritter
Ugly, idiotic, crap.

The In-Laws
2003, D: A. Fleming, S: A. Brooks, M. Douglas
One good line: "At least the dog is fresh."  Contrived crap.

Roots 
1977, D: M. Chomsky, S: L. Burton, L. Gossett Jr., J. Amos, B. Vereen 
Historical fiction mini-series tells the story of Kunta Kinte, an African slave,
and his descendents' rise to freedom.  My complaints are that it's too long
and it feels made-for-TV.  But, that's probably because it's a mini-series (not
a movie) and it WAS made for TV.  I found it interesting and moving.
Fav. line: "You must LIVE, Kunta!  You must LIVE TO KILL THE WHITE MAN!"

Un chien andalou (An Andalusian Dog)
1929, D: L. Buñuel, S: P. Batcheff, S. Mareuil
This bizarre, surreal, absurdist silent B&W flick was co-written by Salvador 
Dalí.  It is only 15 minutes long, but the amazing thing is Mr. Buñuel manages
to fit what is commonly fit into 120 minutes in today's films into a span of only
15 minutes.  Nay, more than what is found in today's overly long, fluff films.
It is rich with content.  The only trouble is, I can't seem to figure out just
what the hell Dalí and Buñuel were trying to say.  Is man just a hound for 
violence and sex?  Are blood and skin his only desires?  Are Art and The Church
at opposing ends of a long rope from which Man tugs?  Is that rope the grind-
stone at which Man slaves all his life only to reach the blood and skin?  And,
if Dalí didn't do drugs why was he so fucked up??  (God, I love this film.)

House of 1000 Corpses
2003, D: R. Zombie, S: S. Moon, S. Haig, etc.
Stupid, pointless, stylized gore.  For the horror movie buff, this film 
will undoubtedly be a fun ride, but for someone who's brain is not completely 
void of bio-electrical activity, this film will be a complete waste of time.
It's not Shivers, and it's not Dawn of the Dead, and it's not The Exorcist, 
so I don't give a damn.  Oh, I did like one thing: Sheri Moon.  It's a shame 
she had lines though.  No, I take that back.  It's a shame any of the cast 
members had lines.  No, I take that back too.  It's a shame this film was made, 
marketed, and purchased by the brain-dead masses that infect this god forsaken 
planet like an incurable disease.  (I'm a philanthropist.)

Better Luck Tomorrow
2003, D: J. Lin, S: K. Cheung, J. Tobin
This film is about Asian American teenagers who are unhappy with their BMW's,
high GPA's, and Ivy League scholarships.  So, they turn to crime for amuse-
ment.  (1.) I didn't give a damn about any of the characters.  (2.) The 
screenplay's logic has huge gaping holes.  (3.) Someone should tell Mr. Lin 
that style is a poor substitute for substance.  All in all, I laughed a few 
times and only looked at my watch twice.  <shrug>

Frailty
2001, D: B. Paxton, S: B. Paxton, M. McConaughey
A much underrated title that came recommended by "brutal" critic and friend 
Matthew Lotti.  It lives up to his recommendation.  A solid mind-bending psuedo-
horror thriller film with religious messages/counter-messages.  This film often
reminds me of the delimma a dear friend of mine often faces while counseling 
the mentally ill: Do these people really hear divine voices?  Or are they just 
nucking futs?  And, who are we to judge?  What gives us the right?  Well shot, 
well acted, well written, and dare I say it, well directed by Bill Paxton 
("GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!").

Laurel Canyon
2002, D: L. Cholodenko, S: F. McDormand, C. Bale, K. Beckinsale, N. McElhone
A decent character study and commentary on sexual politics.  The film is, in 
essense, a crazy petri dish with 5 moderately well rounded characters,
who are hot for eachother, placed in the petri dish, scrambled about, and
placed under a microscope.  You see the setups, you can make some predictions,
but not all the predictions come to pass.  What I enjoyed most about this film
(besides the sexual tension) was how true Lisa Cholodenko's writing was to its 
characters.  It didn't abandon its characters at the end for the sake of 
creating an artificial ending.

The Milky Way
1936, D: H. Lloyd, S: H. Lloyd
Post-silent era B&W beaut from comedy master Harold Lloyd.  Saw it recently 
when it aired on TCM (that's Turner Classic Movies for the unlearned).  It was 
the first showing of the film since it's initial release in 1936.  Go fucking 
figure.  What a treat.  Harold plays a dumb/lovable milkman turned prize 
fighter.  Absolutely hilarious.

Orange County
2002, D: J. Kasdan, S: C. Hanks, J. Black, J. Lithgow, C. O'Hara
Offhandedly funny, cute, delightful.  But, without substance.  A fun movie.
Schuyler Fisk is adorable.  Someone needs to give Lily Tomlin worthy material.
Flirting With Disaster was a start, but they shouldn't have stopped
there.

Touch of Evil
1958, D: O. Welles, S: O. Welles, C. Heston, J. Leigh, M. Dietrich
Touch of Evil was released the same year as The Long, Hot Summer (also
starring Orson Welles).  Both films are remarkable.  This one was directed 
by Welles.  And it shows.  His style is all over it.  The exaggerated B&W cinema-
tography is beautiful.  Leigh is a bombshell.  Dietrich is both beautiful and
haunting.  Orson is in his usual top form.  And Heston, although a fine actor, 
makes a terrible Mexican.  I didn't let it distract me though.  I enjoyed this
well crafted piece immensely.

The Long, Hot Summer
1958, D: M. Ritt, S: O. Welles, P. Newman, L. Remick, J. Woodward
There's a song by Hefner called "Lee Remick."  Darren Hayman (their front man)
speaks of her charm and beauty, and contrasts those characteristics with his
messy childhood.  I had no idea who Lee Remick was.  I thought "Lee" was a
man's name.  I was so wrong.  Lee Remick is a goddess.  But, enough about her.
She only plays a small part here.  The film is mostly centered around the 
relationships between Paul Newman's character (a drifter), Orson Welles'
character (the local poo-bah), Ms. Woodward's character (the poo-bah's daughter, 
another devinely beautiful actress), and Anthony Franciosa (the poo-bah's son).
The strength of this picture lie in its deft writing.  Someone commented that
Orson delivers the world's worst Louisianna accent ever, but I never noticed
because (A) I'm not from Louisianna and (B) I was paying more attention to
other aspects of his performance.  The entire cast is tremendous, the cinema-
tography is brilliant, and in my humble opinion, the result is a rich, lush, 
fabulous film.

Yume (Dreams)
1990, D: A. Kurosawa, S: A. Terao, M. Baisho
Beautiful, beautiful.  A series of masterfully crafted short films representing 
actual dreams of genius filmmaker Akira Kurosawa.  My favorites include The 
Tunnel and The Peach Orchard.

Kurosawa
2001, D: A. Low, S: A. Kurosawa, J. Coburn, C. Eastwood
Documentary/biographical film on the life and talent of Akira Kurosawa.  As a
fan of film and the process of making it, I was enthralled in this profile of
one of film's greatest masters.  It's apparent that the authors of this film
went to great lengths to make the work as accurate as possible.  They interview 
major members of Kurosawa's production crew, cast, and his son and daughter.  
They also include a good deal of voice-over narration from Kurosawa's auto-
biography.  Not only is the film itself informative and interesting, but for 
people interested in his actual filmmaking techniques, there's an extra 60+ 
minutes of in-depth "bonus interviews" with his crew on the DVD.  In these bonus 
interviews, they discuss Kurosawa's lighting, camera work, cast direction, set 
design, and screenwriting techniques.  The overall runtime including the bonus 
interviews is approximately 215 minutes.

The Picture of Dorian Gray
1945, D: A. Lewin, S: H. Hatfield, G. Sanders, A. Lansbury
Dare I say it, ... this film was almost worthy of Mr. Wilde's novel.  Granted, 
they're not comparable, but it's a faithful and well crafted adaptation.  Given 
the high regard in which I hold the literary work, I was unfairly skeptical
and suspicious of this film.  George Sanders was absolutely perfectly cast as 
the jocular and sardonic Lord Henry Wotton.  Damnitall, everyone was perfectly 
cast.  The direction was sound, the cinematography was sublime, the performances
were on their mark, and the adaptation of the story for the screen was fair.  I 
can't find flaw in this film.  It actually pisses me off that someone had the 
gall to adapt Oscar Wilde's novel, so I was really hoping to find fault in it.
I'm very disappointed.

Sunshine Boys
1975, D: H. Ross, S: W. Matthau, G. Burns, R. Benjamin
I have no idea why George Burns won an oscar for his role in this film.  The 
film was funny, but not at all spectacular.  And, as for Mr. Burns ... he didn't
do a damn thing.  He sat like a stone and delivered his lines in a steady mono-
tone.  Matthau was amusing, but over-the-top.  <shrug>

About Schmidt
2002, D: A. Payne, S: J. Nicholson, K. Bates
This is an interesting movie, with a message, but ... the screenwriting isn't 
quite sharp enough to keep my attention for the 2 hours runtime.  I think if 
this movie had been slimmed down to 90 minutes, it would have been a smashing
little indie flick.  Unfortunately that's not the case.  It feels like 
Mr. Payne's film has been injected with large amounts of modified food starch.  
Filler, if you will.  Empty, pointless content.  And, someone please tell 
Kathy Bates to never ever appear nude on-screen again (or off-screen for that 
matter--the woman should shower with her fucking clothes on).  There's no 
denying her talent, but when she dropped her robe I regurgitated sour patch
kids.

When We Were Kings
1996, D: L. Gast, S: M. Ali, D. King, G. Foreman
Bold, black, and beautiful.  A great documentary.

The Hours
2002, D: S. Daldry, S: N. Kidman, J. Moore, M. Streep
Touching, funny portrait of three women with miserable lives.  The three female
leads were terrific and Ed Harris was great comedic relief as the suicidal AIDs
patient.  Only problem is, I don't think his character was intended to be funny
(Mr. Ed pulled "a Jude Law").

Todo sobre mi madre (All About My Mother)
1999, D: P. Almodóvar, S: C. Roth, M. Paredes, A. San Juan, P. Cruz
Another portrait of women, only this one is brilliant, funny, and terribly 
poignant.  Unbelievable writing--interweaving plot lines, references to
classic Hollywood.

The Pianist
2002, D: R. Polanski, S: A. Brody
So bloody long.  At times moving.  But, mostly felt gratuitous.  Unquestionably 
a good performance from Brody.  Polanski could have easily cut 45 minutes from
the picture.  I would have enjoyed this film more with a controller in my 
hand (and my thumb frequently on the fast forward button).

Adaptation
2002, D: S. Jonze, S: N. Cage, M. Streep, C. Cooper
Amusing picture that falls apart at the end.  Cage was oscar worthy.  So was
Cooper (who won, thankfully).  I like the manic energy, I like the characters.
I think Kaufman betrays his own characters in a desperate attempt to elicit an 
unnecessary climatic ending.  The result is an interesting failure.

The Quiet American
2002, D: P. Noyce, S: M. Caine, B. Fraser
Rumor has it `Rabbit-Proof Fence' (the other picture from Noyce released this
year) was butchered by the head of Miramax.  After watching this film, I 
wondered if it also met the same fate.  It was technically well made.  The 
performances were smashing.  Caine was dead-on and brilliant as usual.  Do Thi 
Hai Yen had no presence.  The writing/direction didn't allow for Fraser to fully 
flesh out the side of his character we discover towards the end of the picture.
In my humble opinion, this picture narrowly misses being great cinema.  Perhaps
a director's cut achieves that greatness.

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